If today was your last day
by Cindy Ryan
Summary: Spoilers 2x04. Sam/Andy. Nightmares are stealing Sam's sleep
1. Chapter 1

Not sure on this one but the plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone. :)

Title: If today was your last day  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
pairings: Sam/Andy friendship possible preship  
spoilers: Heavy for 2x04  
Notes: mild swearing

'Each day's a gift and not a given right.'Nickelback 'If today was your last day'

Sam Swarek woke up in a literal cold sweat. He was shaking and breathing hard. Disoriented Sam glanced around finally recognizing his bedroom. Sitting up in bed the police officer struggled to regain control of his emotions.  
He seldom got nightmares.  
Check that he seldom remembered them.  
This one was vivid and all too realistic.

Breathing finally returning to normal Sam flipped on the light and squinted at the alarm clock: two fifteen. He rubbed a hand over his face and thought about the dream.  
It'd been about a funeral.  
Andy's funeral.  
In the nightmare the burned Laundromat had fully collapsed burying Andy and Lydia.

It'd been so real that Sam could smell the smoldering embers.  
Hear the wood snapping as the roof gave way.  
Feel pain in his left shoulder as Oliver tackled him to the ground to keep Sam from going into the rubble.

Standing Sam moved over to the window and opened it. The fresh air hit him in the face and he relished it. The weather had finally started to warm up. Finally start acting like late spring instead of endless winter.  
The images of the nightmare were fading but Sam could still see and hear the honor guard as the guns went off.  
Still saw her coffin being lowered into the cold ground.

A splinter bit into Sam's palm and it was only then that he realized he'd been gripping the window sil. The pain barely registered. Nothing like the sharp grief that had accompanied the dream.  
Grief and failure.  
Failure at not protecting Andy.  
Failure at not telling her how important she was to him.

Resting his head against the glass of the window Sam struggled to regain control. Both his thoughts and emotions were in a whirlwind.  
The building collapse hadn't been the first time Andy had nearly died in front of him.  
It was part of the risk of accepting the badge.  
So why had this incident brought the nightmare?  
He'd lost sleep after the shooting but nothing like this.  
Nothing this real.

Maybe it was a culmination of events. The shooting, her engagement, Callaghan's shooting, the building collapse all coming within months of each other.  
All showcasing that Andy was slipping out of his life  
Irony could be a bitch.  
A woman he hadn't wanted anything to do with now was all he could think about.

As Sam stared down at the light traffic below the scenes from the nightmare came in flashes.  
Oliver ashen faced telling him there were no survivors.  
Hearing the quiet sobs of the other Rookies.  
Numbly watching as Andy's body was pulled from the rubble as the sun set.

Returning to his bed Sam sat heavily down and ran a hand through his short hair.  
He glanced at the cell phone resting on the nightstand.  
The last thing Sam wanted to do was wake somebody.  
Especially a certain somebody.  
But Sam knew sleep wouldn't return unless he heard Andy's voice.  
Picking up the phone Sam hit the third speed dial.

On the fifth ring Andy's groggy voice answered.

"Sam? They call us in?"

"No."Swarek replied instantly regretting waking her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."Sam acknowledged as he scooted back against the pillow. "Couldn't sleep."

"Nightmare?"

Sidestepping the question because it made him feel five. "You want to meet for breakfast before shift?"

"Usual spot?"Andy asked with a yawn.

"Nine?"Sam inquired grateful she didn't press the nightmare question further.

"See you then."McNally stated sleepily. "Try to get some rest, Sam."

"I will."Swarek promised as he ended the conversation and set the phone back on the nightstand.

Turning the light off Sam tried not to think that at that moment Andy was snuggled against Callaghan. No matter what Sam tried he was never able to fall back asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: If today was your last day  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
pairings: Sam/Andy friendship possible preship  
spoilers: Heavy for 2x04  
Notes: mild swearing

'Each day's a gift and not a given right.'Nickelback 'If today was your last day'

When Andy arrived at the Silver car diner she spotted Sam instantly. It didn't surprise her that he was early. From how he sounded on the phone Andy doubted he had gotten any sleep. The death warmed over look Sam was sporting Andy knew he hadn't gotten any rest.  
Her worry grew as she reached the booth and slid in. What could be bothering Sam so much that it was stealing his sleep?

"Morning."Andy greeted.

"Morning."

"How much sleep did you get?"McNally asked as she picked up the menu.

"Not enough."Sam replied as he took a sip of coffee. "But I'll live."

The waitress took their order and promised to be back with Andy's orange juice shortly.

"What's eating you?"Andy inquired softly watching as Sam absently traced the rim of his coffee cup.

Sam sighed leaning back against the seat. His dark gaze traveled to the window.

"I never really thought about it."

"What?"

"The risk."Sam replied quietly. "It was just part of having a badge."

"Part of getting out of bed too."Andy added glad he was talking to her, trusting her. "What changed?"

Swarek shrugged as the waitress returned with Andy's juice.

"What was the nightmare about?"Andy prompted softly.

Sam's dropped his gaze to the coffee before looking up at her. "You didn't make it out of the laundromat."

"Sam..."

"Most realistic damn dream I've ever had."Swarek continued.

Andy sat quietly listening and waiting for Sam to talk at his own pace. She'd had her own nightmares of that building collapse. Mainly dealing with being stuck with a burned corpse. A few days after the incident Oliver had told her that Sam had wanted to go in after her. Well before the building was stabilized.  
At the time she had silently wondered if that action had been Sam as a partner or Sam as a friend.  
Now as Andy watched him struggle to put the nightmare into words she knew it was both.

"In the dream I attended your funeral."Sam stated solemnly. "And I hated myself for not getting you out."

"Sam,"Andy began quietly. "You're the best partner I could ask for. What kept me sane in there was knowing I could talk to you if I needed to. Knowing that you'd be waiting when they got me out. Your training was how I was able to focus in there. How I was able to keep Lydia calm was all because of what you taught me. So even if you weren't the one physically rescuing me you did save my life."

Their food arrived breaking the grim mood. Andy's waffle with strawberries smelled wonderful and Sam's everything omelet with salsa looked good too.

After several minutes of companionable silence Andy could tell something else was bothering her friend.

"Sam?"

"Hmm?"Swarek asked as he took a forkful of hashbrowns.

"There's something else bothering you about the dream."

Sam sighed as he put down his fork. "Regrets."

"We all have them."

"The dream made me realize I never told you."

"Tell me what?"Andy asked seeing a range of emotions dance across Sam's brown eyes.

"You're important to me."Swarek stated as he started to reach for Andy's free hand but stopped.

Andy smiled as she squeezed his hand. "You're important to me too, Sam, always."

By the end of breakfast Andy was happy to see Sam was back to his old self. Bantering and joking. They left the diner and headed to the 15th together ready to start another day.

end


End file.
